I am often in error, but I am never wrong

What a shock last Friday (April 18, 2008) to see the woman who had been my tormentor several years ago. I was sick at my stomach (shen-pa) when she (S) walked into the knit shop where I was enjoying the fellowship of knitters, wine, and brownies. Later, when I got home, I tossed and turned all night, until the dawn when it "dawned" on me why S had returned into my life.

I believe that we, in some way and to a degree, attract into our Quantum Field, people and events that resonate to the vibrations that we send out into our Quantum Field (aka Divine Reality, aka our manifest or material world).

So, why was S back in my life? One answer is that S represented an unresolved opportunity to forgive myself. S is a very angry, vengeful person. Her anger is based on her perception of being dis-empowered. I was a very angry person in my youth and sometimes, even today, that anger comes out when I feel as though I am being stepped on or taken advantage of. Though nowadays, I am quicker at seeing it bubbling up than when I was younger. S was a mirror of my own "dark side." And she was giving me the opportunity to forgive that part of myself. Several years ago, I had said something to her that set S off. I had stepped on her Presidential toes. What I said was innocent, thoughtless, careless, callous, but definitely not deliberately mean. S retaliated with venom, wrath, manipulation, deliberate hurtfulness, and intention to mentally push me down. For a year, S did what she could to get back at me. Now, I am President of the knitting guild and the same thing happened to me at our last meeting, though I didn't recognize it until S came back into my life and I remembered it from last week's meeting. I had no feeling whatsoever except camaraderie and thanks that my friend had helped me move the meeting along.

I now realize two things. First, S gave me her power to control her when she reacted negatively, knee jerk, towards me. S allowed herself to be controlled by her "dark side" and I was the one whom she allowed to trigger that something in her that caused her to react negatively.

Second, I allowed her to treat me the way that she did and thus I did give her some power back. The reason why S was back in my is that I did not let go of the situation and move on after I had apologized to her. I had not moved on because I had not forgiven myself for my part of the event. I was too busy having a pity party and didn't end the party after I was already wearing the lampshade.

So I silently thank her, forgive her, forgive myself, and thank myself for that past situation. I let go of her and the past and I can move on in joy and gratitude for the learning experience. I now choose a gentler, kinder, easier way of learning.

I know a little bit more about this sort of situation and the past programming in me that triggered the reaction from me. I am now more fearless. As the title of this blog states, I am often in error, but I am never wrong. In other words, I may make "mistakes," but I never get it wrong. My life experiences are always good, because there is always good in them. The Universe (via TUT.com and Mike Dooley) tells us:

"What if you were to see every action and inaction in this life so far, see your every strength and weakness, see your every hope and fear, as proof of your divinity? We [the Universe] do. Here's how to view every decision you've ever made: It was right. Here's how to view every path you've ever chosen: It was right. Here's how to view every trend, friend, and dance that you've ever moved with: They were right."

In other words, we can never get it wrong.